Thursday, December 29, 2005

Rumors of My Death, etc.

Well, it's Thursday and I'm still not dead, although I am in the throes of substantially reduced performance specs...

In short, while he hasn't succeeded in capping my butt, the friggin' quack dentist has managed to put me in the hospital. "Best in Boulder"..."Expensive, but worth every penny"...blah blah blah...

Meet the new quack, same as the old quack!

Am out of hospital, where I ended up for "excruciating pain," but so far everyone's strategy on my botched jaw surgery is to throw painkillers at me and wait to see if I get better. I hate painkillers.

Painkillers slow down my own already painfully slow mental processes, essentially bumping me down the evolutionary scale from "monkey" to "tree sloth." Unfortunately, with a chunk of live, exposed jawbone in my head that nobody seems to know what to do with, the pain ranges from "HOLY JESUS!" to that sort of horrible white-light flash where you see dark things scrabbling in the corners of the room, you can't recall your name and you have graphic fantasies about ripping out huge sections of your mouth. So I take the drugs, which don't stop the pain but at least excise those things from the corners of the room.

Amazingly, here's the crack medical advice I received when I mentioned that the pain is non-stop — "Take more of the medication. Eventually, you'll pass out."

Just what I wanted to do for my time off the road!

However, the good news is that the pain is now cyclical, so I have an idea when I've got to scurry off and drug myself into the Twilight Zone. In the meantime, I can get some work done.

Tomorrow, I promise:

THE SHOOTING GALLERY GUN OF THE YEAR FOR 2005!

5 comments:

catfish said...

well, that sucks. I hope you get to feeling better soon.

while you're out, can I borrow a few of your 1911's? :)

Anonymous said...

Sorry to hear you have had so much trouble over the holidays.

I hope to talk to you before the SHOT Show, but, given what you're going through at present, it may not happen. Call or email if you feel up to it.

Otherwise, get better quick and see you at the SHOT Show.

Guy

shooter said...

I got dibs on his revolvers!

Makes you feel any better, I had my teeth worked on about a month ago. Hated every minute of it.

If you want, I can come over and shove a hot poker up your dentist's nose. Just a suggestion.

Get better.

Shooter.

Health News said...

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Unknown said...

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