Wednesday, April 22, 2009

One of My All-Time Favorite Headlines

From MSNBC today:

Giant mystery blob found near dawn of time

Man, I've suspected that for years! There is indeed a giant mystery blob near the dawn of time! Along with a huge statue of a man with four toes, all the unmatched socks since the very first washing machine, the missing 18 1/2 minutes of the Richard Nixon tapes, Jimmy Hoffa, Judge Crater, the keys to my 1969 MGB that I was never able to find, an unreleased master tape of previous unrecorded Grateful Dead songs, that little "De Plane! De Plane!" guy from Fantasy Island, Lindsey Lohan's lost virtue and that couple of hours I lost when I whacked my head river surfing in New Zealand a few years back.

I feel better now, doctor...really...

...until I read this:
DETROIT — The metal underwire in a Detroit woman's bra was credited with deflecting a bullet fired at her during a break-in at a neighbor's home. Detroit police Officer Leon Rahmaan said the 57-year-old woman apparently looked out her window Tuesday when one of three men fired the shot.

He said the slug smashed through her window pane before hitting the bra's underwire. It did not penetrate her skin.

I'm now deeply conflicted.


RKL said...

Maybe it was a tacti-bra she was wearing. Or maybe it was like the bikini Princess Leia wore in Return of the Jedi.

George said...

I wonder if she had "machinegun-tipped googlies"?

Clark Kent said...

Well, hell, guess I'll hafta start wearing one. I wonder if they sell a "flatty" model?

Anonymous said...

Maybe a .22? That would lose enough energy going through a sheet (or two) of glass. Maybe . .

B Woodman

Charlie Foxtrot said...

57... in Detroit?

I'm gonna bet it was more like an underwire rebar.

hazcat said...

Does anyone know where the keys to my 1994 Virago 1100 are ?


Got a bike with no keys!!


Anonymous said...

Was it a brass bra?

Laura said...

...ok, i need to find one of THOSE bras.

Anonymous said...

See, I been taking the heat all these years for wearing panties! Oops, my bad!