Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Goat Painting Crisis!

On a day when my man Snoop "What's My Name, Fool?" Dogg was arrested on weapons and drug possession charges after an appearance on Jay Leno — I don't know about you, but I think guns and at least Dramamine are prerequisites for being on late night television — more signs that unintended the consequences the Democratic election sweep are spreading...

I told you things like this would start happening with Dems in control! From MSNBC:
Man accused of spray-painting three goats

MAHOPAC, N.Y. - A man broke into a barn on Thanksgiving morning, spray-painted three pet goats and scattered pages of pornographic magazines on the floor, apparently to harass the property owner, police said Tuesday.

Drew Gagnon, 37, of Mahopac, was arrested the next day and was charged with burglary, criminal trespass and animal cruelty, said Lt. Brian Karst, of the Carmel police force, which covers Mahopac. The man who drove Gagnon to the barn, Douglas Bisio, 34, of Mahopac, was charged with criminal facilitation, police said.

"Obviously it's not an occurrence you see every day," Karst said.
Meanwhile, reports are coming in from the biggest CSI-style crime scene investigation in the world, to wit, who capped the dinosaurs. This from Red Orbit News:
The dinosaurs, along with the majority of all other animal species on Earth, went extinct approximately 65 million years ago. Some scientists have said that the impact of a large meteorite in the Yucatan Peninsula, in what is today Mexico, caused the mass extinction, while others argue that there must have been additional meteorite impacts or other stresses around the same time.

A new study provides compelling evidence that "one and only one impact" caused the mass extinction, according to a University of Missouri-Columbia researcher.
Now we're sure of the weapon, but what of the hand who delivered the weapon? I'm thinking proto-Dems, but it's all in the evidence. Well, anyway, I've always kept my eyes peeled for big rocks falling out of the sky! With the Dems in control, I absolutely wouldn't be surprised if we sustained a major meteorite strike — not counting Rosie O'Donnell, who certainy qualifies as an extinction-level chunk of inanimate rock — in the next two years.

Still, there are positive signs...although not here. Even as Sharia law spreads through Jolly Allah England, a ray of hope in, of all places, Sweden, via Yahoo:
STOCKHOLM, Sweden - An ABBA museum dedicated to the music, clothing and history of the legendary Swedish pop group and its four members will open in Stockholm in 2008, organizers said Tuesday.

The interactive museum will feature original outfits and instruments used by the group, handwritten song lyrics, a display of different awards, and "all other things we can think of and find," said Ulf Westman, an event consultant who is spearheading the project with his wife Ewa Wigenheim-Westman.

The museum will also feature a studio where visitors can record their own ABBA songs, and an interactive experience that "will recreate the feeling of being at Wembley stadium and seeing ABBA live with 50,000 others," Westman said.
"Youuuuuuuuuuu can dance
Youuuuuuuuuuu can jive
Having the time of your life..."

Back in the mid-1970s, I got thrown off the prestigious Village Voice annual poll of rock critics for stating emphatically that ABBA was the greatest pop group in history, and that long after most of the CBGB darlings were relegated to chips of obsolete vinyl alongside disposable diapers in landfills, students and enthusiasts around the world would still be mining the lyrics of "Fernando" for insights on life...and hey, if I had to do the same again, I would my friend, Fernando!


Anonymous said...

ABBA "the greatest pop group"? Gag, gag, puke, hurl!!!!

Michael Bane said...

Oh ye of little faith!

"When you see the wonder
In a fairy tale
You can face the future
Even when you fail..."